Ever see that movie “Mean Girls
I’m not going to get into naming names and linking to other blogs because a) it’s not an isolated incident and b) why give them the traffic? Sure, it’s been happening a lot this week but this isn’t the first time I’ve seen it. It’s just the first time I’ve seen it taken to this level.
So let’s talk about it in general, shall we?
Anyone who has survived junior high knows what bullying is. When someone tries to intimidate you, threaten you, scare you or exert some kind of imaginary control over you, that’s bullying. A lot of the time it involves a group of people, sometimes it’s just one person, and sometimes it’s a mob of people following around one person like a flock of sheep.
Stalkers, on the other hand….well, that’s usually just one person. A cyberstalker will obsessively Google your name, read your blogs, spy on your Twitter stream, maybe even create fake profiles in an attempt to befriend you if they can’t get access to your private profiles.
Personally, I don’t get the mentality behind either one of these. I’m thinking that the Internet gives them some kind of courage that they don’t have in real life. Me? I’d never say something to you online that I didn’t have the balls to back up in real life. And I certainly don’t try to rally up a bunch of others to help fight my battles for me. As far as the stalkers go, they’re usually people who have some sort of insecurity or jealousy issue that creates and fuels their obsession with the stalkee. (Or, in some cases, they’re mentally unstable, delusional or paranoid and they think that everything you write or say online is about them.)
The common denominator between bullies and stalkers is the fact that they are, for lack of a more entertaining term, chicken shits. They have nothing more interesting or productive to do with their free time than harass someone else. Sometimes that little voice of reason and sanity will speak up and ask them “What the hell are you doing?!” and they might decide that maybe it’s time to just let it go. But that rarely ever lasts very long.
What a sad, sad way to live.
There’s not really a point to this post, just an observation rather than a lecture. I’ve learned through personal experience that the best way to get rid of these people is to just ignore them. Don’t acknowledge them or give them the attention they so desperately seek and they’ll get bored and move on to something or someone else.
I will say that the behaviors of some of the Mom bloggers this year, especially this week, is just beyond fucking stupid. How OLD are you? Really. Threatening to send people to their house to beat them up? Telling people you’re not going to be their Internet friend anymore if you even talk to the other person? Wow. Real mature. I bet all of those PR companies that keep sending all of that free shit to you are really proud to be working with you, huh? I know if I was the head of some big company, I’d be PROUD to be represented by a bunch of grown women who think they’re Hot Shit and act like a bunch of third graders who managed to get around Mommy’s website blocker to play on Twitter. /sarcasm
Ladies, you’re giving yourselves a bad name. No one takes you as seriously as you take yourselves. The Motrin moms, the Blog Her swag, the PR Blackout… keep it up and you’ll end up being such a liability that you might find yourselves going weeks or even months without the Fed Ex guy showing up at your door with more free shit to gush about. Oh noes!!!!! THEN what will you write about on your blogs??
*insert eyeroll here*
December 18th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Well said!!!
I’ve dealt with both and ignoring does work. I even even left forums, deleted blogs, and unfriended them. Eventually they do go away after the asshats find their next person to attack. They are childish, pathetic, and no self worth. It’s sad, but only they can change that.
Virtual people leading virtual lives with no real world connections. I feel sorry for them.
December 18th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
I think I may have cried a little when I read this. BRAVO! You said it perfectly.
December 18th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
I just started really seeing all of the activity you were addressing today.
The behavior truly sickened me.
Thanks for your piece.
December 18th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
I remember these people from high school. They never grew up and still act exactly as they did then.
The point is a child died while a parent wasn’t doing their job. Threatening the people that point out the fact of this event won’t change the fact that a two year boy will never be three.
Thank you for the post.
December 18th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
What’s going on now is even MORE disgusting than the issue that started this whole thing which was ONE person questioning the situation.
It’s just filled with hypocrisy and irony.
They claim this person is just seeking attention and publicity yet THEY are the ones giving it to her. They tell her to just drop it and leave it alone yet they’re the ones going on and on about it. They demand privacy and removal of her Twitter account for harassment and spam yet they tweet and retweet her personal information including home address and phone number. They call her a stalker and a bully yet they keep setting up new Twitter profiles and blogs to mock, harass, and expose her. They criticize her for being online and not with her kids yet when she disappears for several hours they sit there and wonder where she is and why she isn’t responding.
I have a 19 year old daughter and even her WORST run-ins with the mean little high school bitches never got this bad.
Meanwhile, there is a grieving family, a father who missed the last moments of his son’s life because HE was doing something important like serving our country, an 11 year old young man who will live with undeserved guilt for the rest of his life, and a 2 year old who will never ever see another day no matter what these narcissistic harpies manage to accomplish with their hatred.
December 20th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Finally someone says it like it is. The hypocrisy and irony are lost on those obsessed with harassing this one woman (and anyone who dares defend or friend her). I have gotten my share of hate mail for blogging about controversial issues, but never have I had anyone do the things some of these people have done. Setting up Twitter accounts to make fun of her appearance and call her names, calling her every nasty name you can imagine, digging into her personal info and that of her kids — and that is just the stuff I saw checking into Twitter a couple of times a day for 10 or 15 minutes.
I know some people who call themselves mommy bloggers who are not like this at all. They don’t rake in tons of swag either though — just live their lives taking care of their kids and from time to time share recipes and tips with others and sometimes tell cute funny stories about their kids on their blogs.
Scariest is what a few of these people who are still obsessing over McGraw say in their Twitter bios. One who tweeted on and on about needing to expose McGraw and who RT’d some of the vilest stuff said about her and who even said he has a car and could drive across the country and talked about someone possibly killing her has this as his bio: “Administrator/Executive Director for NPO for the Mentally Ill”. I don’t know if that is true (anyone can write anything they want in their Twitter bio), but the point is that these are not 12 year olds messing around pranking someone. They are adults, at least biologically. Where they find so much time to invest in this hate is a mystery to me, especially during the holidays when there is so much to do. That I just took 10 minutes to type this is about all I can muster — too much shopping and wrapping left to do. This is really disturbing stuff.
December 21st, 2009 at 11:48 pm
There was swag at BlogHer? I was too busy trying to find the free booze.
Kidding! I was pregnant. I’d never take a sip of alcohol…really…why are you looking at me like that?